Christmas has come and gone. It is officially four days after Christmas.
Snap back to reality time was over two days ago. My honey went back to work, the children are home from school, and the lingering remains of Christmas are overly pungent in the home.
The mess is dressed from ceiling to floor, over flowed boxes are thrown from one room to another. Toys are unavoidable, tripping has become the new walk.
Laundry Mountain has gained a new peak, as did garbage mound gained a new height. I think the recyclables even laughed at me as I was digging garbage out of the receptacle.
Baby mush and dirt is the new perfume, I think I even repulsed the garbage man today when I was bringing the trash to the curb but I still received my smile and wave.
Left overs are falling from the fridge. The dog confused today for buffet day, and thought the open refrigerator was his ticket in. I guess I have to cook dinner today after all.
If I step on one more damn Lego today… as I step on one more Lego.
The Christmas Rut is alive and well.
Holidays can be hard, there are a lot of expectations on parents between cooking, present’s and hosting. I normally like to consider myself a Suzy homemaker, I can usually handle it all but this year hit me hard. I felt debilitated Christmas morning, after hosting Christmas Eve, but I still got up and made a huge Christmas Breakfast, than hosted Christmas dinner. The next day was hard, but I still had the help of my husband. The clutter, the mess, the laundry, all overwhelming. It was the 27th when I really felt it all, a mix of emotions, an overwhelmed feeling that I couldn’t quite put my finger on. I have suffered depression before and was so nervous that this is what it was, was I slipping into a deep depression? Could I pull myself out if it is depression? Should I start therapy again? With the feelings, followed anxiety. I hate having unanswered questions, and I loathe the unknown.
Luckily, I have formed a great friendship with an awesome parent advocate, I call her my savior because she always has the answers for me, and always has a way to make things better because a lot like me, she has walked a similar path. I shared my problems with her, and she said the feeling is normal. Holidays are a lot of stress, and besides the “normal” issues with holiday, we have additives. Co-parenting, split schedules, and brain disorders make-up the normal in my home, and although we have adjusted and accepted all of the above it does not take away the stress that can come along with it. I was relieved to hear that it was ok that I felt sad, tired, and over worked because I was… I ran a marathon and never stopped to refresh.
This is where self-care comes in, and this is where I can be held accountable for the biggest crime. I feel like a selfish fool when I partake in self-care. When the kids are home, I don’t even like going to the gym. In a sense I feel like it is taking something away from them. To be honest, the more I rally against self-care the more I realize I am a better person, and even a better mom when I am the best me which means I have to partake in self-care, and yes this even means lacing up my gym shoes and hitting the treadmill because for me it is my stress release and even my happy place. This was part of the problem, between sick kids and Holidays it’s been two weeks since I last saw the gym. So I made a promise that I would get through New Year’s Eve, Host a rocking New Year’s Eve party, and start my gym regimen once again Monday morning after New Year’s (along with every other person in the world).
I contemplated whether or not to share all of this. I hate coming off as a negative Nancy, and feel that sometimes what people need most is a positive perspective, but the more and more I thought about it the more I realized is yes positive is great but honest is even better. Besides, the whole purpose of my blog is to give hope, perspective, and support.
Thank you for stopping by and reading, I hope you find this useful. Any questions, or tips? Please leave a comment below and I would be happy to hear what everyone has to say!