Recently, our schedules have been very hectic. Birthday parties, illnesses, and snow-day’s seem to be in an overabundance this year. These hiccups are normal life, and generally you can just go with the flow. If you have to cancel your plan’s you do, and you reschedule when you can. Yet, when you are a blended family, second chances and rescheduling does not come easy.
I have received a lot of questions on balancing schedules with a blended family. There really is no science or one method to it. However, there are two keys to all of it: compromise, and open communication.
At the end of all of it, it is not about what is best for you, or for the other parent, it’s about the child. I say this often, but putting the child first is so important and can really help from clouding your judgment on what is a priority.
When our relationships with co-parenting were not strong, and communication was our weakest link we stuck to the schedule like our life depended on it, even when the child was sick. If the other parent needed to cancel or reschedule we did, and worked it out, but we were never the one’s to reschedule or make the initial change on the visit.
Now, that our communication is strong we still stick to the schedule as if our life depended on it, yet now if something comes up we are able to work around it more than in the past. This takes everyone’s involvement, and everyone needs to be open to working together. This even means offering more visit time than the initial agreement. For some, this may seem like an absolute no but once you get to a healthy place with the relationships hopefully you will be able to realize that in the end it is not about the other parent, it’s for the child.
Co-parenting may seem like a dream, but take it from someone who once stood in your shoes, you have this, and you can do it.